Whether you’re a total bondage newbie or a seasoned BDSM expert, if you’re reading this, you’re probably in the market for some fresh gear. And conveniently, you can buy many of the best bondage toys right on Amazon.

But before you dive into the exciting world of BDSM, it’s imperative that you and your partner are on the same page. The reason why a movie like Fifty Shades of Grey was so maligned by the kink community was because it didn’t depict a healthy BDSM relationship. Both partners need to be informed and consenting in order for BDSM play to be healthy.

So what does that look like? Sit down with your partner before any type of sexual encounter involving these or other BDSM toys goes down. Talk about what you’re both comfortable with — and get into the details. Can I spank you with my hand? How about a …

As most of my readers probably know, I’ve been practicing BDSM for many years. The fun thing about BDSM is that it never gets boring. Even after all of those years, I still keep discovering new things on a regular basis. Just as with normal sex. Even though BDSM is not always sex for me per se, and sex does not always have to be BDSM but that’s a whole other story.

In all of those years, I’ve never used a spreader bar. I already had some kind of bar, but I always used it to hang it on the ceiling and put wrist cuffs around it, but I never used it for in between my ankles.

Spreader Bar

I was already familiar with various brand. My first wrist cuffs from years ago were also made by this brand. Those were super comfy cuffs. They have a few very fun …

There’s a reason why BDSM toys and equipment are so popular, even among non-kinksters. The best toys enhance playtime between partners, increasing the erotic sensations both a dominant and a submissive feel. BDSM gear can also establish and maintain dominance over one (or more) partners, creating a consensual power play rooted in being restrained, bound, or sexually teased.

Of course, some toys aren’t meant for newcomers; they simply present too much risk. Luckily, there’s plenty of equipment out there for kinksters just getting their bearings in the world of BDSM.

BDSM toys for every kink treasure chest

1) Blindfold
Arguably the easiest kink item to obtain, blindfolds should be in every dom’s collection. Why are blindfolds so fun? Well, they provide sensory deprivation.

When blindfolds are on a sub, they heighten the sounds, feelings, and, in some cases, tastes they are exposed to during play. This makes touching much more …

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how to use BDSM toys.

Q: “My long-term partner and I are interested in upping our BDSM game. We’ve done very, very basic stuff like light spanking and gentle hair pulling. We’ve never used toys or props before, and we were looking to make a couple of purchases together. What are some good beginner BDSM toys? I know about things like paddles, nipple clamps, whips, and gags, but is there anything else we haven’t thought about? What’s the …

Who makes the purchasing decisions?
The first thing to consider in a relationship when it comes to shopping is whose job it is to shop. It might be of course that the purchase of toys (or indeed of anything) might be made by the Dom without the sub being aware of what new toys might await him or her. For some this might work really well since it adds the element of surprise about what new toy or item might be added to a session until it’s brought out and used, however sometimes it is nice to know what is coming also.

In our relationship it’s a mix really. Sometimes Grimly buys things without me knowing, and sometimes we buy things together. Sometimes I also like buying items that he doesn’t know about and having the fun of wondering how he will incorporate it into play and also whether or …